WORST OF 2006

There are so many movies I could put in this category for this particular year, I have to break it down into sub-categories:

First, the 'ehhh....' (as in 'what's all the fuss about?')
BLOOD DIAMOND (did anyone else feel like the moviemakers were using the tragedy of Sierra Leone as just another exotic backdrop for their action/adventure tale?)
LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE
HALF NELSON
VENUS

Second, the 'ambitious failures' (it tried, it had its merits, but it failed):
BABEL
FUR
MARIE ANTOINETTE

Next, the merely BAD:
The Black Dahlia
The DaVinci Code
Down in the Valley
Thank You For Smoking

Finally, the aggressively HORRIBLE movies:
6. Apocalypto
5. (tie) two documentaries that prove a good subject does not guarantee a good doc
- Stolen (about the famous Boston art heist of 1976)
- I'm Your Man (a tribute to Leonard Cohen)
4. Pirates of the Caribbean 2 -- lowest-common-denominator Hollywood 'product' at its worst; leave it to suits to ruin a franchise.
3. Clerks 2 (I'd rank it higher, but I don't want to give Kevin Smith the satisfaction. He wants viewers like me to be offended by his pushing the boundaries of taste. But I'm not offended by the subject matter: I'm offended because it's NOT FUNNY -- but rather a pathetic attempt by an aging sell-out to recapture the original spirit of his indie youth. Sad, really.
2. Art School Confidential - bad acting only compounds the misery of sitting through this cynical, misanthropic view of human nature ... and the 'art' that makes the protagonist famous? IT'S CRAP!! When you cannot even get that detail right -- GIVE UP!!

and the WORST MOVIE of the YEAR:
1. THE LOST CITY (aka "Andy Garcia's vanity pic")
Oh, what a misguided, amateurish effort! No doubt good intentions by all parties involved paved the way to this 'labor of love'; but make no mistake: by the end of these 140-interminable minutes, the road we have taken is to movie hell. If you last that long ... I admit I did not (and I never walk out on a movie!) But at the point where any competent movie-maker would be rolling the credits, Garcia needlessly switches the action to New York, and brings the ill-conceived Bill Murray character with him -- that's when I gave up. (Murray plays a character named "The Writer" -- 'nuff said).

Here is how New York Times critic Stephen Holden describes the filmmaking: 'clumsy' 'pulpy grandiosity' 'buffoonish parodies of Communists' and political discussion that doesn't rise above 'junior high level.' The same could be said of the director: you'd think Garcia would have learned more from the great directors he's worked with -- like, "don't steal other people's shots!" It's as if he thought every shot had to be 'iconic.' In the hands of an amateur, however -- the ripped-off Godfather 'drying sheets on a line' shot, or the black and white shot (except for the woman wearing the Cuban flag as a dress) for example -- the results are laughable. Like the acting.