Friday, December 29, 2006

Mel's Latest Passion

It's the Mayans, of all things! That's what I thought, anyway, going into "Apocalypto," Gibson's much-anticipated (by me, Diane Sawyer, and ABC/Disney) follow-up to The Passion. Turns out, Mel's latest passion is the same as his old passion: the unflinching depiction of extreme scenes of torture and death, for indeterminate entertainment value.

My high hopes for Apocalypto stemmed from the fine job he did bringing to vivid life, in every flesh-ripping detail, the final hours of Jesus that every Catholic altar boy has imprinted on his brain from his first "Stations of the Cross" duty. My hopes came tumbling down faster than the severed heads of those unfortunate human sacrifices the Mayan high priests tossed off those authentically steep steps of their temple an hour into this gorefest. (Why did the Mayans sacrifice young and healthy male captives, anyway? Who built their temples and produced their food? No wonder their agriculture-based civilization died out. It was either that or gingivitis, judging from the close-ups).

Truth is, Gibson does no favors to the almost-forgotten, thousand-year civilization of the Maya, who in their heyday had a highly-developed society that excelled in art, architecture, mathematics, and had a complex writing system. Judging from their behavior in this movie, you wonder how this bloodthirsty rabble stopped their human sacrifice rituals long enough to build, write, or create anything. They should have just stayed in the jungle, Gibson seems to be saying, like the 'noble savages' who are the heroes of the movie, in spite of his depiction of them as a bunch of crude practical jokesters. Frankly, I wouldn't want to spend any time in either side's company, let alone 139 minutes.

Of course, one of the reasons The Passion worked and this film doesn't is that Mel had better writers the first time. (Four guys -- non-Guild members -- as I recall). Here, left to his own limited screenwriting abilities, Gibson relies on every hackneyed, overwrought, and ridiculously-improbable plot device to tell the story of one young father's struggle to overcome unspeakable torture and certain death to rescue his ... oh, why bother!

Saturday, December 23, 2006

Babbling About 'Babel'

/////SPOILER ALERT!! Do not read this if you haven't seen the movie! /////

In case anyone is wondering why I didn't exit the screening of "Babel" weeping and hugging my fellow man (as other critics apparently have done), the reason is that I simply didn't buy into the conceit: first, the Japanese connection to the the other two stories was tenuous at best (her father gave his shotgun to the Moroccan villager who sold it to the father of the boys...). I concede this as a minor point, and it doesn't diminish the power of the deaf teenager's plight to the movie's compelling premise of global miscommunication.

But a movie of intersecting storylines is only as good as its weakest link. This film's fatal flaw is its least-engaging storyline: the one that takes place in Mexico. And it does diminish the impact of the movie's premise. Not only do these Mexican scenes run-on too long (leaving the impatient viewer to think "I wonder what is going on in Morocco and Japan?") but the actions of the principals run the gamut from indefensible to unbelievably stupid. True to Gonzalez-Inarritu's nonlinear style, the enormity of his characters' stupidity is not revealed until the end of the movie, leaving the audience felling like fools for investing the last two hours sympathizing with characters who behave so foolishly.

Specifically, the phone call Brad Pitt's character makes from the hospital to his Mexican nanny essentially tells her 'the mother of the two children in your care is fighting for her life in a Moroccan hospital after spending an entire day bleeding on a dirt floor' and this nanny thinks: "NOW would be a good time for a family road trip"?? Ridiculous!

And she compounds her questionable judgment by entrusting these kids to her irresponsible, authority-hating nephew? Who then, in the apex of bad judgment that must be a family trait, drops them off in the middle of the desert -- at night -- in order to more easily outrun the border partrol? Unbelievable!

But he promises to come back for them! Yeah, right: pick them up by the third cactus on the right, Einstein!

Thus, the larger issues of man's inability to communicate with his fellow global villagers, not to mention the issues surrounding the tense, mutually-distrustful relationships between Americans and Mexican nationals, are left in the Southwestern dust. That is my definition of an 'ambitious failure.'

But don't take my word for it. Here is what playwright/director Neil LaBute had to say about it in a recent Hollywood Reporter interview: "The script [for Babel] is interesting to talk about with that one. The script was there, obviously. It has to be, but I didn't feel it so strongly. The timeline, the break in the timelines, the pacing -- they were very tenuous. And I thought the connection to the Japanese story was very slight."

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Foreign Film Recap

It is too soon to unveil my Top Ten List (I am still looking forward to seeing Almodovar's Volver for one), but here is a quick rundown of my year in foreign films . . .

It started early -- in 2005, in fact -- at the AFI's beautifully-restored Silver Theater (in not-so-beautiful Silver Spring, MD) during the annual European Union Showcase. That's where I saw Sophie Scholl: The Final Days, the earnest German retelling of the true story of the tragic end of the anti-Nazi student organization The White Rose. An intense lead performance by the cute German actress Julia ('yool-ya') Jentsch (The Edukators) carries this movie beyond its rather conventional storytelling.

After my big move to Houston, I revisited all my old haunts: movie theatres! First, at the venerable River Oaks (a Landmark theater), I saw a beautiful-to-look at, but emotionally detached, and (again) conventional true tale from the WWI trenches: Joyeux Noel. It was co-produced by so many countries, I don't have a clue where it is from, but it stars Daniel Bruhl (from last year's trifle Ladies in Lavender and the superior German flick The Edukators) and the lovely Diane Kruger (she was Helen of "Troy" after all! ... before slumming with Nic Cage in "National Archives"). And she lip-syncs an opera aria, so it has its moments. Later at the River Oaks I saw the disappointing L'Enfant by the always compelling Dardennes brothers from Belgium, and the Indian film Water, where a compelling story sank into melodrama. (At least I didn't say "Water was all wet.")

But the high point of the year came soon after, at the Houston outpost of New York's own Angelika Cinema & Cafe: that's where I saw the 2005 Oscar-winner Tsotsi from South Africa. "Emotionally brutal." For the second year in a row I didn't see the best foreign film of the year until the following year! (2004's Born Into Brothels was named my #1 movie in 2005). In a rare twist, the Oscar cabal that runs the foreign film category (with an iron fist) got it right -- two years in a row!

Another great venue for movies is the Museum of Fine Arts, Houston, which schedules many of the same film programs (usually abbreviated) that appear at the respected National Gallery of Art in Washington. Where else can you follow-up an Isabelle Huppert film festival -- where I saw the classic Coup de Torchon (for the first time), and the gritty but beautiful La vie promise from 2002 -- with a film festival devoted to the Hollywood legend Janet Gaynor?? ("This is Mrs. Norman Maine!!") Call it my definition of heaven. That's where I saw two Jewish-themed films of merit from France: La Petit Jerusalem and Live & Become.

Two other films from France will compete with Tsotsi for the top spot this year: Cache and La Moustache. Stay tuned for more on those mind-bending movies from the best movie-making country in the world!!

Friday, December 15, 2006

Let the Award Season Begin!

"The Most Wonderful Time of the Year" indeed! With yesterday's announcement of the Golden Globe nominations, the movie awards season kicks into full-gear. First, for those of you making a Top Ten List, here is a handy reminder of all eligible films released in 2006 (from Abominable to You, Me & Dupree -- remember that one?), followed by a rundown of the major critics prizes, then a list of important dates.

But first, a brief comment on the Golden Globes: they have hit a new low. Take a look at the nominees for Best Picture (Musical or Comedy) to see what I mean: with the possible exception of "Dreamgirls," none of the nominees stand a chance of making the cut in the Best Picture Oscar race. Not a chance! They nominate "Borat" (!?!) yet ignore the vastly-superior "Stranger Than Fiction"? What were they thinking?

Critic's picks: New York / LA Film Critics / Nat'l Board of Review
Best Picture: United 93 / Letters from Iwo Jima / Iwo Jima
Best Actor: Forest Whitaker-Last King of Scotland / tie: Whitaker & Sasha Baron Cohen-Borat / Whitaker
Best Actress: Helen Mirren-The Queen / Mirren / Mirren
Best Supp. Actor: Jackie Earle Haley-Little Children/Michael Sheen-The Queen /Djimon Hounsou-Blood Diamond
Best Supp. Actress: Jennifer Hudson-Dreamgirls /Luminita Gheorghiu-The Death of Mr. Lazarescu/Catherine O'Hara-For Your Consideration
Best Director:
Martin Scorsese-The Departed /Paul Greengrass-United 93 / Scorsese

Important Dates:

Monday, January 15th - Golden Globe Awards on NBC
Saturday, January 20th - Broadcast Film Critics Awards televised on E!
Tuesday, January 23rd - Academy Award nominations announced (8:35am ET)
Sunday, January 28th - SAG Awards on TNT
Sunday, February 25th - Oscar* Night!

Thursday, December 14, 2006

2006 -- The Year in Movies (so far)

I have hestitated posting any reviews of 2006 movies because, frankly, this has been a horrible year for movies. And I'm not comparing it to a 'typically bad' year -- when I can successfully avoid the duds that Hollywood ships out during the summer -- I'm talking about total duds coming from all sides: mainstream, indie, and foreign.

In a typical year, the standard complaint of "no good movies" applies every February to October. It's the nature of the business. Even then, I could find some indie-or-foreign gems to fill-up my early "Best" lists (before Oscar* Season heats up). This year, even the so-called 'gems' are either disappointing or equally as bad as the summer blockbusters. I've waited an extra two months and I still cannot fill up a top ten list!

In short, expect a comprehensive "Worst" list for 2006 (in February 2007). Until then, here is a rundown of my hits and misses for 2006:

Top Ten material (in the order I saw them):
THE DEPARTED -- even a slumming Scorsese is still worth watching.
FLAGS OF OUR FATHERS -- finally, a legitimate Oscar* contender!
RUNNING WITH SCISSORS
THE QUEEN -- simply brilliant.
STRANGER THAN FICTION

Best of the Rest:
CASINO ROYALE -- I could have done without the Madagascar scenes early on in the movie: that elaborate but pointless sequence served only to postpone the introduction of the lovely French actress Eva Green, Bond's one and only true love. The movie takes off when she enters the picture. Enjoy the ride!
INSIDE MAN -- Spike Lee is a master when he exercises discipline. Great soundtrack by Terence Blanchard, too.
HOLLYWOODLAND -- an 'adult' drama about old Hollywood, something I didn't expect to see in a multiplex... in Houston ... in July ... starring Ben Affleck !!
LITTLE CHILDREN -- a very 'affecting' yet disturbing drama from director Todd Field ("In the Bedroom") -- and I had major problems with ITBR (Marisa Tomei was not one of them, I assure you!) -- outstanding performances, too. If I sound surprised that I liked it, I am!
V for VENDETTA -- as a friend said: "I love dystopian universes!"

Good, not great:
All The King's Men -- worth seeing, despite its shortcomings.
Brick -- extra points for originality.
The Illusionist
The Lake House -- Sandra Bullock returns to making *good* movies (yay!)
The Last King of Scotland -- see it for Forest Whitaker's amazing performance.
World Trade Center
And : Factotum - An Inconvenient Truth - Mission Impossible 3 - A Prairie Home Companion - Scoop - Word Play

Ehhh....
Half Nelson -- why all the fuss? You want to see Ryan Gosling act? Rent Marc Forster's overlooked 'Stay' from 2005. And please, spare us the caricatured "hypocritical, self-medicating, ex-hippie sell-outs from the Sixties" who play his parents. Sheesh!
Little Miss Sunshine -- the fact that this was "the indie-hit of the summer" proves my point about it being a BAAD year for everybody in the movie business. (See a later post for why I didn't like this movie).

"Ambitious failures"
[This category covers those movies that aim high, have good intentions, but fall short of success. I created this category last year, in response to 'Crash' -- a most UN-deserving Oscar winner.]

Babel -- I wanted to like it, but the impact of the three individual stories is undercut by the director's (Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu) inopportune cutting among the two compelling ones and the third, unbelievable one. He made the same mistake in his last movie, 21 Grams, but that featured the lovely Naomi Watts. (See a later post for more).

Fur: An Imaginary Portrait of Diane Arbus -- I can't help but admire the earnestness of everyone involved in this misadventure. Robert Downey, Jr. deserves special recognition. Nicole was a quite effective lead (not miscast, as many critics have said). But, really...what a waste of talent! The only thing I learned about the subject of this film was that she pronounced her name 'Dee-onn.'

Marie Antoinette -- Sofia's unique talent for exploring young female fragility is sadly undone by a truly in-over-her-head lead actress, Kirsten Dunst (a miscast Jason Schwartzman, the reliably off-balanced and interesting actor here plays a boring dolt, doesn't help). I guess Sofia can relate to Kirsten's plight (see Godfather 3), but still, she was able to coax a good performance out of Scarlett Johanssen in Lost in Translation (quite a feat, as her subsequent roles attest). Great pastries, but they don't give awards for that -- yet. Great costumes, too (although showing a pair of sneakers to a shot of M.A.'s closet was over the line, S.C.!!)

Terrible!
Where to begin! How about from WORST to just bad:
Art School Confidential; Clerks 2; The Lost City (by Andy Garcia--stick to acting Andy!!); Stolen (art theft documentary); Pirates of the Caribbean 2 (and I loved the first one!); I'm Your Man (L. Cohen doc. that doesn't do justice to its subject); The DaVinci Code; The Black Dahlia; and Thank You For Smoking (not funny...a comedy is supposed to be funny!)

"Let the Oscar* Season Begin!"

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

DEDICATION






I dedicate this page to my favorite actress of all time

--- the lovely NAOMI WATTS:
_ _ _ _ _

In tribute, here are what I consider the TEN GREATEST PERFORMANCES of her illustrious career . . . thus far

[Remember, "The Painted Veil," opens December 2006!]


10. "Flirting" (AUS 1991) -- why not start with her first important role as a boarding school 'chum' of Nicole Kidman (and the start of their long, real-life friendship). "There are no small parts ... "
9. "Ellie Parker" (2001/05) -- yes, this dreadfully amateurish digital video effort should have remained a 16 minute short; maybe then we would've been spared both a pointless vanity-role for the 'director' AND a slumming Chevy Chase! Message to the aforementioned director:
"Just because you use digital video doesn't give you a pass to ignore lighting and blocking in every scene. Go back to film school!"
8. "Ned Kelly" (AUS) & "Le Divorce" (2003) -- two performances from 2003 where NW transcends the limits of these supporting roles to make you wish each movie was about HER character instead!

7. "Stay" (2005) -- a regrettably overlooked surrealist gem from director Marc Forster ("Monster's Ball"; "Finding Neverland"; "Stranger Than Fiction"). Rent it!


6. "The Ring" (2002) *as Rachel Keller -- As NW told Jay Leno (almost apologetically): "It's a genre film, but it's a good genre film." AMEN!! NW has nothing to apologize for here: it's a well-made thriller. (I will remain silent on "The Ring Two.")

5. "I (heart) Huckabees" (2004) *as Dawn Campbell -- this role proves she is fearless!

4. "We Don't Live Here Anymore" (2004) -- I love her character name: "Edith Evans"

3. "King Kong" (2005) -- another great character name: "Ann Darrow." Talk about transcending the genre! NW gives nothing short of an Oscar-worthy performance (at least a nomination) in an unforgiving, impossible role: acting in at least 80% of her scenes essentially alone (90% if you include her scenes opposite Jack Black!) ;-)

2. "21 Grams" (2003)

1. "Mulholland Dr." (2001) -- as the notorious "Betty Elms"

Welcome to my 'blog'

Here's the plan...

Apparently, any moron can become a 'film critic' these days, as long as they work for an entertainment website and can string two sentences together. And the more lame and superficial their opinions are, the bigger the 'blurb' they get in movie ads! I say to them what the prisoner famously said to George Costanza at the airport newstand: "YOU'RE A BLURB!" ('The Airport Pickup" episode, Seinfeld season four).

In protest, I've been creating my own TOP TEN MOVIE LIST each year for as long as I can remember, then sending it to friends, family, and whosever email address I happen to have at the time. Some appreciate the effort; others copy it and take it with them to the video store [even though they know I do not condone watching a movie on a TV--at home!]; the majority don't seem to care much.

Generally, I rank a movie in the year it was released (even if I saw it the following year, pre-Oscars). The exceptions (foreign & docs) I saw long after the Oscars. Some years I divide the foreign films and documentaries into different lists; some years (like 2006, unfortunately), I have to make a WORST MOVIE LIST as well.

Where'd I Get the Name?

It's true, foreignfilmguy hasn't posted any comments on FOREIGN films in 2006 yet. So where does the name come from? It was the onscreen name I chose when I participated in my first online 'chat': back when the Washington Post movie critic Rita Kempley began her weekly chat. (Somebody had already taken 'artmovieguy').

I want to be a travel writer, too

I hope to post brief sketches of trips I have taken. I will start with a fledgling effort from 2005: a report I submitted to a Washington Post Travel Section contest (prize: a digital camera) -- I lost.
=(

Monday, October 02, 2006

Sandra Bullock: The Good, the Not-So-Good, & the really, really BAAD!

During my misspent youth, I spent many hours studying the ouevre of my previous "favorite actress of all time" (see Dedication Page to read my upgrade). Therefore, I am uniquely qualified to assess Sandra Bullock's strengths and weaknesses in choosing film roles. Contrary to conventional wisdom -- which holds that, like Ashley Judd, SB is uncapable of appearing in a movie worth watching -- I have tried to divide them equally into three categories: good, mediocre, and bad.

THE GOOD:
1) "While You Were Sleeping" -- THIS movie will forever be remembered as launching my obsession for SB (culminating in a fateful meeting in the lobby of the Mayflower Hotel in Washington, DC--the subject of a future posting...maybe). Her initial foray into what was to become the perfect vehicle for her, the romantic comedy. In a rarity for the genre, it happened to be both romantic and comic! Unfortunately, she spent the ensuing seven years (it seemed longer) trying in vain to recreate that magic, reaching its nadir in 2002, with the #1 worst movie of her career (see THE BAAD below).

Besides, it remains the BEST movie filmed in Chicago -- and, yes, I DO remember that overblown, over-praised, overrated, extended-SNL-skit by uber-hack John Landis called "The Blues Brothers" !!!

2) "Speed" -- well, THIS is the movie that launched her into superstardom, giving her the clout to choose her own roles (again, a decidedly mixed blessing). Given the right role, Keanu Reeves

3) "Crash" -- I felt manipulated by the movie, but she nailed the role and was an equal among the strong ensemble of actors. You've come a long way from In Love & War, baby!

4) "The Lake House" -- I won't even try to explain the premise. Let's just say "I bought it." As with Speed, I went along for the ride. That is a testament to the acting ability of its two leads, together again for the first time since Speed.
5) "Murder by Numbers" -- Yes! This is the movie that silenced all doubters (and that little voice in my head): SB CAN play against type! It was dark crime story; she played an unhappy loner; and there were no 'Sandy-moments' to make the audience like her. Also notable for launching the careers of two talented young actors: Michael Penn ("The Dreamers") and Ryan Gosling ("Half Nelson").

6) (tie) "Miss Congeniality" / "The Net" -- SB is at the top of her form in these admittedly formulaic movies. Hey, she's a professional!

Honorable Mentions: "Demolition Man" & "Wrestling Ernest Hemingway" -- both are supporting roles early in her career (1993) in which SB really stood out: one for her comedic talent (and for playing Sylvester Stallone's love interest--a thankless role if ever there was one!) ; the other in just a few scenes opposite Robert Duvall as a kind-hearted waitress.

THE NOT-SO-GOOD:[either she was mailing it in, or the movie was so weak it didn't matter how good she was.]
A Time to Kill
Forces of Nature -- I enjoyed this movie, fyi (both times I saw it).
Hope Floats
Practical Magic
28 Days -- I hated this movie, fyi.

& THE REALLY, REALLY BAAD:
[in reverse order, to build suspense.]
5) Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood--SB and Ashley Judd, together in the same movie?? Did anyone expect this to be good??
4) Two if by Sea -- all that clout from her three previous hits, and she wastes it with this trifle?
3) In Love & War -- her first attempt at a 'serious' role (bland does not equal serious, I'm afraid).
2) Speed 2 -- an ill-fated disaster of sequel (1=fast-moving bus; 2=slow-moving cruise ship. Say it with me people: "DUH!"). Taught SB a hard-earned lesson in 'loyalty': i.e., "To hell with it! Follow Keanu's lead and look out for #1!!"

.. And the Worst Movie of Sandra Bullock's career:


1) Two Weeks Notice (with Hugh Grant) -- Exhibit No. 1 that not every screenwriter can simply switch chairs and become a director. This is THE MOST incompetently paced, unfunny, unimaginative piece of drivel that NEVER should have been greenlighted. I curse the man responsible for this! You, sir, forced me to swear off SB for good! Thanks for crushing my dreams.

Monday, March 06, 2006

TRAVEL: 10 'undiscovered' places

Here are ten 'undiscovered' getaway spots in the U.S. (each in a different state) that I personally recommend:

10. San Juan Islands / Port Townsend, WA
9 Jefferson, Texas -- East Texas B&B haven.
8. Frostburg, Maryland -- Welcome to Appalachia (go in February, during a snow)
7. Port Gibson, Mississippi -- neat Antebellum ruins (but stay in Natchez).
6. Manchester-by-the-Sea, MA -- take the drive north from Salem during the Fall.
5. Ogunquit, Maine -- artist's community
4. Cannon Beach, Oregon -- awesome rocks; great bistro (named "Bistro")
3. Niagara-on-the-Lake, Ontario, CANADA (worth the drive over from Buffalo!)
2. Lehigh Valley, PA [Bethlehem-Easton]
1. Shepherdstown, WVA -- go for the playwright festival in July; stay and eat at the Bavarian Inn or the Yellow Brick Bank.

And three places I hope to add to the list one day:
Spillville, Iowa (Dvorak came all the way from Czechoslovakia to visit this place)
Staunton, VA (pronounced 'Stanton')
Block Island, RI

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Acknowledgements

I have two people to thank for making this blog a reality:

1) my mother, who instilled in us Palmer kids in Pampa a deep love for movies--especially the movies of old Hollywood's Golden Age--by regaling us with stories of the stars and the films she saw in her youth;

and

2) twenty-year friend Lewie Jost, for graciously loaning me the computer equipment and internet access that I never would have paid for myself. And now that I have his cool DELL laptop, I can take it to Starbuck's, sit there all day (hoping somebody asks what I'm doing), and blog like a real professional! Thanks, Lewie!

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

BEST MOVIES OF 2005

RON’s TOP TEN MOVIE LIST for 2005

1. BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN

2. SYRIANA
3. CAPOTE
4. HUSTLE & FLOW
5. MUNICH
6. THE SQUID & THE WHALE
7. WALK THE LINE
8. SIN CITY
9. THE NEW WORLD
10. ME and YOU and EVERYONE WE KNOW

Honorable Mention (in order of preference):
King Kong
Layer Cake
A History of Violence
The Weather Man
Pride & Prejudice
Wallace & Gromit: The Curse of the Wear-Rabbit
Good Night & Good Luck
Shopgirl

'Ambitious failures'--NEW CATEGORY [much was expected; much less delivered.] Batman Begins

Cinderella Man
Crash
Harry Potter IV
Junebug
Kingdom of Heaven

'Saw & enjoyed'
The Constant Gardener
Dear Frankie
Match Point
Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith
Wedding Crashers

‘Saw & hated’
The Dying Gaul (worst movie of year!)
The Ballad of Jack and Rose
Ring Two (sorry, Naomi)


Saturday, February 04, 2006

2005 -- Foreign Films & Docs

TOP SEVEN FOREIGN FILMS

1. THE SEA INSIDE - ESP (2004)
2. THE BEST OF YOUTH - ITA (two parts: six hours)
3. UP & DOWN - CZE
4. THE EDUKATORS - GER
5. SARABAND - SWE
6. NOBODY KNOWS - JPN
7. KINGS & QUEEN - FRA


TOP FIVE DOCUMENTARIES

1. BORN INTO BROTHELS (2004)
2. MARCH OF THE PENGUINS
3. GRIZZLY MAN
4. MONDOVINO
5. JESUS IS MAGIC (Sarah Silverman)

Thursday, February 02, 2006

TRAVEL: Pennsylvania’s Lehigh Valley

The Trip: A weekend road trip to Pennsylvania’s Lehigh Valley
Adapted from a "Vacation in Lights" submission to The Washington Post by Ron Palmer)

Who Went? One transplanted Texan intent on exploring the East Coast – one weekend at a time.
Where? Allentown-Bethlehem-Easton, PA (the ‘Tri-Cities of the Poconos’)
When? Early November 2005
Why? Why not? It has history, fall foliage, two fine universities (Lafayette & Lehigh--host of the Patriot League women’s soccer tourney that weekend) and . . . did I mention the leaves?
Getting There Was . . . Easy, if you bypass Philadelphia (which I didn’t since I missed my exit and ended up seeing more of Philly than I wanted or needed.)
I Gritted My Teeth Hardest When . . . I had to back up on the PA Turnpike to avoid a $2500 fine for going through the EasyPass Lane without an EasyPass.
It Made It All Worth It When . . . I got to see 1 college football game, 2 concerts, 2 and-a-half soccer matches, the inside of 2 bars (okay, 3), and enough dead leaves to last me at least a year.
I Can't Believe I . . . saw all of that from Friday to Monday.
Things I Could Have Done Without. . . The strip malls, strip clubs, and OTB parlors that line busy Route 22 (connecting the three towns).
Coolest Attraction: downtown Bethlehem’s historic old town: original and reconstructed buildings from the town’s 18th-century Moravian community, all within walking distance from my charming B&B, the Bethlehem Inn.
To not look like a tourist, I . . . bought a Lafayette College t-shirt prior to their home football game against Colgate. That led to my . . .
Most Embarrassing Moment: when two separate Colgate fans asked me for directions to the stadium (my cover was blown).
Cheapest Thrill: That same Lafayette game: an alum handed me an extra ticket while I was standing in line (must have been the t-shirt!)
Favorite Undiscovered Gem: The Cosmic Cup near the Lafayette campus, a student-friendly coffee bar that hosts live jazz on Saturday afternoons.
Second-Favorite Undiscovered Gem: the ‘Tap Room’ bar at the Hotel Bethlehem; specifically, their Martini Menu. (I had a ‘Moulin Rouge’ –imagine an upscale Cosmo).
Biggest Splurge: a front row seat to a concert by New York’s 20 year-old chanteuse Nellie McKay (who spent her teen years in the Valley) at Lehigh’s Zoellner Arts Center.
Biggest Culture Shock: The Allentown Symphony Orchestra (the shock being that Allentown had culture). Seriously, they gave a fine performance of Beethoven’s Triple Concerto with guest artists the Claremont Trio, also from NY.
Second Biggest Culture Shock: Spending one evening at the historic and college-friendly Tally Ho Tavern on Bethlehem’s bustling South Side; then spending the following night at the decidedly downscale (and proud of it) J.P. MacGrady’s Pub, with the blue-collared and multi-tattooed ‘townies.’ We had one thing in common, though: we were all rooting for the T.O.-less Eagles to beat the Redskins on Sunday night football (and we all left disappointed).
Favorite Meal: Saturday night dinner at the Montague restaurant in downtown Easton, a converted department store turned upscale eatery and bar that converts to a club late nights. (The gregarious maitre-d, a CA transplant and father of the owner, gave me the scoop).
Next Time I’ll . . . order the “Bourbon and Banana French Toast” at the Blue Sky Café next to the Lehigh campus: they come topped with bananas sautéed in bourbon. (The chef had taken them off the menu that morning because ‘the bananas weren’t ripe.’)
• Thing I Wish I'd Brought With Me . . . my own bananas.
--30--