"Going to see movies in theaters is Dead." -- October 8, 2020 (the day REGAL Cinemas will re-close all US/UK theaters due to the ongoing pandemic).
It has been awhile, Forignfilmguyfans! That imaginary quote reminds me of two OTHER prognostications that have proved demonstrably FALSE:
"Irony Is Dead" -- September 12, 2001
"New York City is Dead" -- March 12, 2020
Unlike those two, I am a bit more worried about the latest dire warning, given my two moviegoing experiences post-lockdown (both at a Regal Cinema). I was first in line when theaters reopened in Houston, my hometown, on Friday, August 28th (because I was the ONLY one in line!) The 1 o'clock showing was cancelled due to technical difficulties (no surprise, they've been shutdown for months), so I returned on Saturday to see STAR WARS V: The Empire Strikes Back ... with four other dudes. Don't get me wrong: I love sitting alone and far away from other humans, but multiplexes do not make money off ME, they need to fill the seats.
My second visit was Tuesday, October 6th, to see the much-anticipated (and ONLY) blockbuster released so far: Christopher Nolan's "TENET" ... this time with six people (not all dudes). I will give you a review in my next post, but a couple of observations first:
1) Of course no one is going back into theaters now: there is nothing to SEE! The longest-running new release out now is "Unhinged" with Russell Crowe -- and it's NOT a documentary! The other 8 theaters are filled with retreads and indie features that wouldn't have lasted a week in normal times. Hollywood has not backed-up the theater chains: every announcement of a premiere pushed back to 2021 is another nail in their coffins.
2) People have gotten used to the alternative: COVID19 has turned us all into couch potatoes. Even me, who always avoided watching movies on the 'small screen' (as long as I could help it; NETFLIX ruined that for me forever with their Oscar-nominated ROMA and The IRISHMAN). Now, with so much new to watch at home, why would you risk going out?
Life WILL get back to normal, eventually, but I expect the only theaters to return to business will be the the dine-in luxury-seat options. I'm not opposed to paying $28.00 for a reclining seat at iPic (as long as the blanket is disinfected).
